Tag Archives: valentines day

Valentines Day: a timely reminder about what we should be doing daily for our partner (small things often)

What a lovely reminder Valentine’s Day on 14th February is for those in a relationship – however it is a timely reminder that we should be thinking about what we should be doing daily for our partner.

Leading relationship expert, Dr John Gottman says this: “Small Things Often” and it is the small things often – more often, which make a relationship fulfilling and keeps couples connected.

Some of my favourite quotes highlight this:

  • “The greatest gift you can give your children is a strong relationship between the parents”
  • “Great relationships are built on a deep friendship, mutual respect and enjoyment of each others company”
  • “What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while”

So if it’s the small things daily and not just the biggest box of chocolates, an expensive dinner out, a bunch of flowers, a new shirt or tie… that count in the long-term.

What is it that you can do to show your partner that you are living your love intentionally?

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

  1. Kiss like you mean it (remember your dating kisses and now due to being busy a peck on the cheek is the daily routine) – always kiss hello and goodbye on the lips;
  2. Ask you partner what a great night in is and plan it by surprise after work one night or this weekend;
  3. Take over one of their jobs or responsibilities for the next week or two;
  4. Ask your partner their favourite meal and cook it this weekend;
  5. Break routine – go out for breakfast during the week before you both head off to work;
  6. Show an interest in your partners world by asking questions and listening and then ….. asking more questions about the topic – and stay interested;
  7. Compliment your partner often;
  8. Play a board game;
  9. Suggest an evening walk after dinner to buy ice cream or coffee;
  10. Take a packed dinner to the beach or park;
  11. Ask your partner often “what do you need from me right now”;
  12. Buy the book “7 Principles of Making a Marriage Work” and read it together; and
  13. Never stop saying thank you or being polite to your partner;
  14. Here is an idea for Valentine’s Day: Write a list of the things you love and admire about your partner and hand it to them on Valentines day with a credit note saying – How can I help you today?

That doesn’t sound too hard (but some would say not that’s not very exciting) but it is these small gestures which are going help you stay connected and ensure your partner feels a priority or special.

Have a great Valentines Day – for me a reminder day – what should we be doing more often!
By Robyn Donnelly, Co-ordinator Marriage and Relationship Education – CatholicCare Social Services Hunter-Manning.

More tips, next week…

Robyn has been involved in the field of Marriage & Relationship Education for over 20 years; approximately 14 of these with Catholic Care (formerly known as Centacare). Robyn’s passion for supporting couples at all stages of their commitment – pre, post marriage and parenting is contagious, she is a strong believer that prevention is better than cure. Robyn is a FOCCUS facilitator, Co-ordinator & Facilitator of Before We Say I Do Group Programs and Bringing Baby Home Workshops as well as a program called ENHANCE, enrichment sessions she created for post marriage couples in Newcastle, NSW. Robyn was awarded the Inaugural 2014 Marriage and Relationship Educators Association (MAREAA) Award for Innovation and Excellence in the marriage & relationship field and is currently the NSW Representative for MAREAA NSW.

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

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Happy Birthday to my Wife

To do what is best for you in life,
To respect the commitment of being husband and wife,
To be still and just listen – not have to be heard,
To forgive and forget and not need “the last word”,
To admit I’m not perfect – that I make mistakes,
To support the decisions that each of us make,
To be willing to laugh when a day has been rough,
To divide up the burdens when life becomes tough,
To support my love when things are too hurried,
To comfort my love when stress keeps us worried,
To be willing to cherish our true love and friendship with a joy and compassion that will never end.

As we celebrate another birthday, I am reminded of all the wonderful years behind us. May I always have understanding to make our marriage work, Commitment to make our marriage grow and Love to make our marriage happy!

Happy Birthday honey.

Adapted from Marriagevine.com

 

A Valentines Day Poem to my Wife

To do what is best for you in life,
To respect the commitment of being husband and wife,
To be still and just listen – not have to be heard,
To forgive and forget and not need “the last word”,
To admit I’m not perfect – that I make mistakes,
To support the decisions that each of us make,
To be willing to laugh when a day has been rough,
To divide up the burdens when life becomes tough,
To support my love when things are too hurried,
To comfort my love when stress keeps us worried,
To be willing to cherish our true love and friendship with a joy and compassion that will never end.

As we celebrate each year together:
May we always have Understanding to make our marriage work, Commitment to make our marriage grow and Love to make our marriage happy!

Happy Valentines Day honey.

Adapted from Marriagevine.com

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A Valentines Day gift – Couple Checkup

Discover your relationship strengths and growth areas and gain insight into your relationship by undertaking a Couple Checkup this Valentines Day.

From February 7-14, Couple Checkup will be offered at a discounted price of $19.95 per couple (regularly $35)*. Couples can go to http://www.CoupleCheckup.com anytime during the week of February 7-14 to set up an account, and the discount will be automatically applied.

Designed to generate deep insights and to provide an understanding of the growth and strength areas for couples, the couple checklist assists to develop skills to maintaining healthy relationship habits.

*This discount applies to credit card purchases made during National Marriage Week, February 7-14, 2013