When you become more aware of which tasks you and your partner complete, you can evaluate the quality of the distribution

Roles are most likely already assigned in your relationship: someone takes out the garbage, someone else does the laundry, etc.

But do you know every chore your partner does to contribute to the entire household? Probably not.

There are household tasks we complete routinely that go unnoticed. When you become more aware of which tasks you and your partner complete, you can evaluate the quality of the distribution.

Interest can change over time as well as ability; it is natural to make adjustments along the way.

Consider these questions with your partner:

• How do roles change when your lifestyle changes (children, job change, new home, retirement, etc.)?
• Have you discussed how future lifestyle changes might affect the roles you and your partner currently have?
• How is leadership distributed within your relationship?
• What are effective ways to make decisions regarding your household?
• Is this a shared responsibility?

If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.

Tune in next week for more tips, ideas and insights into balance and the challenges for couple relationships… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.intentional-relationship.com

Eight ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships (Principle 8)

As a family, do you know what are you trying to achieve? Does you family work under a core set of values that are understood by all family members? Have you ever gathered together and discussed what these things may look like? A deep, valuable and unifying experience for your family is to discuss and develop a family mission statement.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.

These eight principles help to make marriage last:

Principle 8 – Develop a family mission statement. Define core values and goals
:
The urgent things are often those that keep us away from focusing on what is important. If we don’t have a clear idea of what is important, of the results we desire in our life, we will be easily diverted into responding to the urgent.

A practical approach to keep you on track is to establish a family mission statement.

The process of discussing our values, individual and shared goals can change the dynamic of family life. Then through considered thought and understanding we can work towards agreeing our mission statement. It will change overtime, so revisit it.

Reconsider and reshape family roles if required. Ongoing we can direct our efforts towards common goals ensuring efforts are not misdirected.

Through the mission or vision and through love and understanding, we can build an atmosphere based on mutual respect.

Sit down with your family this weekend and have a go.

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Consider the Better Marriages, Australia Conference in Sydney 7-8 September 2013 at the Newport Mirage, details on the website at: Better Marriages, Australia Conference 2013

Eight ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships (Principle 7)

The importance of self, raising self-awareness and self esteem and their impact on relationships cannot be underestimated. Being secure in oneself or working towards improving oneself, requires constant and consistent focus and through refining our physical, intellectual, social and spiritual self, we can enable greater personal effectiveness and better interpersonal relations. The vital elements of self and regeneration, internal security, personal worth, value and security, ensuring a rich private life, appreciating nature, giving service and showing integrity are all associated with Covey’s principle centered approach.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.

These eight principles help to make marriage last:

Principle 7 – Regain internal security:

Take the time to focus on your physical, intellectual, social and spiritual self. We are all in a state of entropy and only consistent and continued refinement and attention to all of these areas will ensure an upward spiral of growth, change, and continuous improvement in ourselves and our relationships. Learn to take care of yourself.

Exercise whenever you can and feel the chemical change in your body. Get out doors and enjoy the world. Despite the challenges, it truly is a beautiful world we live in.

Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Improvement becomes the norm and if we take this into our relationship, we can focus on improving it rather than thinking that it ought to be perfect. If we appreciate that change is inevitable, therefore focusing on getting better through enhanced awareness and careful exploration of issues and by developing and improving skills to deal with those issues we remain flexible and allow for error and therefore alleviate anxiety. Enjoy the journey as well as the destination.

Enjoy a rich private life, give service and show integrity. Participate in community events and work on at least one area where you can give service to benefit others. Be it via a volunteer organisation or individual seeking support, connect and assist others.

Principle eight, next week…

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Consider the Better Marriages, Australia Conference in Sydney 7-8 September 2013 at the Newport Mirage, details on the website at: Better Marriages, Australia Conference 2013

Eight ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships (Principle 6)

Time management, Communication and Problem Solving Skills are three skills we are not born with, but critical in terms of success in marriage. Managing time with and without our partner, ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to solving problems with our partner are areas that we need to develop together to ensure our marriage is sustained for the long term.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.

These eight principles help to make marriage last:

Principle 6 – Refined 3 vital skills: Time management, Communication and Problem Solving Skills:

1. Time Management: Successful couples have a plan for time with and time away from their partner. They have an honest and regular look at short and long-term plans and progress to plan. They know what they need to achieve, they know what each other is doing and they understand that they may need to adjust their behaviour or strategy to ensure that they reach their goals. They chunk down the larger tasks to smaller, more achievable items and this keeps them motivated from start to finish, because they can see progress. They build in time for contingencies and they learn from experience.

2. Communication: Communication is the answer to a successful marriage – but you already knew that! Whilst the absence of communication may be a leading cause of divorce, fulfilling your wedding vows is easier if your marriage is based on open communication. Learning to communicate well with your partner and often is not as easy as it sounds, but it can help resolve problems before they start to affect your marriage.

3. Problem Solving: Couples that are compassionate and share recognition and power are good at solving problems. Whilst challenging, they resist criticism and contempt. They are rarely defensive and never stonewall the other.

Drop the usual win-lose mentality and think abundance for both you and your partner – cooperate for mutual long-term benefit. Choose the positive response and imagine hope and faith. Learn from experiences and be open to changing you position and attitude… discover the better way and the intimacy that it creates.

Imagine a relationship where both are equal and can make suggestions. Listen to your partners comments and desires. Be direct and express your needs clearly – when you need space, say so. If ever your point of view is different to your partner, they try to understand and then aim to reach a reasonable compromise.

Manage your time, talk about plans and goals regularly. Communicate effectively with your partner, developing the habit of listening carefully and really understanding your partner BEFORE giving your thoughts. Its about seeing how your partner sees the world – through their heart and mind. Listening with empathy and have the courage to really stop and listen, to consider, to restrain, respect and act with reverence.

These principles can bring immense intimacy and love to your marriage. Refined these 3 vital skills: Time management, Communication and Problem Solving Skills. Reflect, discuss and act on these with your partner today.

Principle seven, next week…

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Consider the Better Marriages, Australia Conference in Sydney 7-8 September 2013 at the Newport Mirage, details on the website at: Better Marriages, Australia Conference 2013

Eight ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships (Principle 5)

Reconsidering and reshaping our family systems can get us on a path to achieving our goals and will free us up to be a more effective spouse, parent and worker. Redesigning family systems and restating our family goals and plans, can bring about significant changes to our every day life.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.

These eight principles help to make marriage last:

Principle 5 – Redesign family systems:

The way we communicate and solve problems in our home is vital to ensure a lasting, satisfying marriage. Additionally the modeling we provide our children shapes them and sets them up for their own relationships. By reviewing our family systems, goals and plans, discipline systems and the way we model appropriate behavior, can revitalise marriage and sustain it.

Delegation of tasks and bringing more order to the everyday workings of our home can provide the jolt that our family needs. Simply through the process of engaging all family members to review family systems ensures everyone has a voice, is heard and can impact in ensuring a more pleasant home environment.

State and restate your goals and plans. Think and talk about the short, mid and long term objectives and things that need to happen now to achieve the larger, more audacious goals.

In summary, redesign family systems, review goals and plans, rethink stewardship and discipline, teaching and training and the way we model appropriate behavior. Reflect, discuss and take intentional steps to change, revitalise and enrich our marriage, ensuring marriage is sustained and endures.

Principle six, next week…

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Consider the Better Marriages, Australia Conference in Sydney 7-8 September 2013 at the Newport Mirage, details on the website at: Better Marriages, Australia Conference 2013