Tag Archives: communication

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome

When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee outcomes. Whether you work through your PREPARE/ENRICH assessment results in its entirety or section by section, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few outcomes and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present and in view will help remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.

In practice:

When you create your own outcomes, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience. Increased satisfaction? Greater understanding? More support? Enrich your relationship?

Reflect on the outcomes you’ve set for your relationship and consider how you each will contribute.

Revisit your list of desired outcomes and assess where progress was made.

Being intentional about this process and your relationship goes along way to ensuring success. Keeping each other accountable however, is where the rubber hits the road. It’s a joint effort and you are both invested in the outcome. Make it happen.

Source: PREPARE/ENRICH Discussion Guide for Couples.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Setting and achieving goals in your relationship

This year, my wife and I have set goals for ourselves individually, as a couple, family goals and work goals.

Sure, we cover all the obvious areas such as finances, career, sex, time together, time with friends and family, but what we always find is that our couple goals are what makes up most of the discussion.

To drive the discussion we started with the following broad questions:

  • How can we gain a greater awareness of our relationship strength and growth areas?
  • What do we need to do about the areas we need to work on?
  • How do we gage success and how often do we check-in?
  • One achieved, how should we celebrate; and importantly
  • How do we ensure and open and constant communication!

The Journey

When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee the target goal. Whether you work through these in a single session or over a few weeks, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few goals and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present during the time you are discussing progress to remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.

Review: When you create your goals, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience.

Will they:

  • Increase relationship satisfaction?
  • Provide greater understanding?
  • Enable greater support of each other?
  • Enrich our relationship?

Reflect on the goals you’ve set for your relationship in 2018 and consider how you each will contribute. Revisit your list of desired goals within a week after setting them, then continually assess where progress was made and consider articulating relationship (and family) outcomes to continue the momentum.

Review 2019 goals because 2020 is just around the corner…

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Is conflict resolution a possible Strength Area in your relationship?

Conflict Resolution is your ability to discuss and resolve differences. Also how effectively you are able to share opinions, ideas, and feelings with your partner, even during times of conflict.

Discussion. Do you:

  • Feel understood while discussing problems?
  • Feel individually responsible for problems in your relationship?
  • Say nothing to avoid hurting your partner?

Is conflict resolution a possible Strength Area in your relationship?

Takeaway:

Be proud of your strengths! It is unrealistic to expect you’ll agree on everything, but start by trying to understand one another’s thoughts and feelings. Good communication will help you problem solve and further improve this area of your relationship.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Poor Conflict Resolution can become more problematic over time and affect other areas of your relationship such as closeness and communication

Conflict Resolution is your ability to discuss and resolve differences. Also how effectively you are able to share opinions, ideas, and feelings with your spouse, even during times of conflict.

Discussion. Do you both feel positive about:

  • Bringing differences to a point of resolution?
  • Expressing feelings/ideas while resolving differences?
  • Whether or not you have disputes over trivial issues?

With some effort you can improve this area of your relationship by learning and practicing new skills. A healthy goal is not to avoid conflict. Instead, develop good conflict resolution skills so differences can be productively resolved. If neglected, conflict resolution issues can become more problematic over time and affect other areas of your relationship such as closeness and communication.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

How does non-verbal communication contribute to dealing with conflict?

Choose your attitude and behaviour, communicate openly and consider your non-verbal stance, expression and situation. This creates trust and intimacy.

Lean forward and show interest in your partners world by asking questions and listening and then… asking more questions about the topic – remain interested. Remove distractions, sit face-to-face if necessary, with an open stance.

Commit to loyalty and openness and when you have an issue, seek to resolve it with consideration for the relationship first.

DISCUSSION:

  • How does non-verbal communication contribute to dealing with conflict in your relationship?
  • What are non-verbal cues that you give your partner or that your partner gives you that influence the direction of the discussion?
  • Ask your partner what they often observe as you might not notice your own non-verbal cues, but remember to be respectful.

TAKEAWAY:

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but if dealt with in a healthy, productive, and respectful way, it can bring you closer as a couple and make your relationship stronger.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Daily dialogue is designed to activate discussion, discovery, and increase the overall quality of your relationship

By taking time each day to talk and focus on your partner can make a huge difference in the short and medium term. Used to increase intimacy, daily dialogue is designed to activate discussion, discovery, and increase the overall quality of your relationship.

Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk about your relationship, rather than discussing your activities that day. The focus of this dialogue should be on your feelings about each other and your lives together. Set aside five minutes per day to discuss the following:

    What did you most enjoy about your relationship today?
    What was dissatisfying about your relationship today?
    How can you be helpful to each other?

Consider the Couple Checkup, a tool designed to help you and your partner build a more satisfying and intimate relationship. The Couple Checkup evaluates up to 25 important areas in a couple’s relationship including: couple and family systems, personality and age and stage of relationship.

Adapted from www.prepare-enrich.com.au, the Couple Checkup evaluates important areas in a couple’s relationship including eight core scales (i.e. communication, conflict resolution, role relationship and sexual relationship), four couple and family system scales (closeness and flexibility), five personality scales (based on the Big Five Personality Scales), and between four and eight specific scales relevant to the age and stage of the couple based on background questions ( i.e. cohabiting, children from previous relationship, and intergenerational issues).

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

 

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions.

The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

What did you most enjoy about your relationship today? 5 minutes a day can transform your relationship

Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk about your relationship, rather than discussing your activities that day. The focus of this dialogue should be on your feelings about each other and your lives together. Set aside five minutes per day to discuss the following:

    What did you most enjoy about your relationship today?
    What was dissatisfying about your relationship today?
    How can you be helpful to each other?

By taking time each day to talk and focus on your partner can make a huge difference in the short and medium term. Used to increase intimacy, daily dialogue is designed to activate discussion, discovery, and increase the overall quality of your relationship.

Consider the Couple Checkup, a tool designed to help you and your partner build a more satisfying and intimate relationship. The Couple Checkup evaluates up to 25 important areas in a couple’s relationship including: couple and family systems, personality and age and stage of relationship.

Adapted from www.prepare-enrich.com.au, the Couple Checkup evaluates important areas in a couple’s relationship including eight core scales (i.e. communication, conflict resolution, role relationship and sexual relationship), four couple and family system scales (closeness and flexibility), five personality scales (based on the Big Five Personality Scales), and between four and eight specific scales relevant to the age and stage of the couple based on background questions ( i.e. cohabiting, children from previous relationship, and intergenerational issues).

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

 

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions.

The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.