Exploring relationship roles and your expectations about how decision making and responsibilities will be shared is vital towards understanding each other’s preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in your relationship.
Often our traditional or equalitarian behaviours are bought into out relationship from our family of origin. If you expect to have an equal relationship, where you and your partner share leadership and decision making or you feel that you would be happier if there was a more even balance of power in your relationship, then you need to explore family of origin in more depth.
“In our marriage, I expect my partner to consult me when making important decisions.”
Consider the following questions:
- Who made the decisions in your home growing up?
- How do you make important decisions today?
- Would you be willing to allow your partner to make all the important decisions?
- How would you feel if you were not included in making important decisions?
Exploring family of origin
When it comes to roles and responsibilities, both partners should be willing to adjust.
- What adjustments do you feel a wife must be willing to make?
- What adjustments do you feel a husband must be willing to make?
- What type of adjustments are you not willing to make?
- Have you talked about the adjustments both of you will have to make when you are married?
If not then you may need to or seek assistance from a marriage educator or relationship counselor.
One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or CoupleCheckup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couplecheckup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.
Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich
The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The CoupleCheckup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.