Tag Archives: cohabitation

The Change Model: Habits – out with the old, in with the new

Couples are using the internet and mobile technology to communicate with one another, to keep up-to-date with information and news about others. Combined with the ease of access to these communication mediums and their instant and constant influence over couple relationships, its presence and impact cannot be underestimated or ignored.

With over 62% of Australian internet users on social sites such as Facebook and Twitter and average usage at >6hrs/month on social sites and rising (53% women and 47% men), there is little wonder that social usage will be a problem for some relationships.

The CHANGE Model can help you develop an action plan for your relationship goals, with six easy step:

2. Habits – out with the old, in with the new

Is the myriad of today’s electronic devices an ever-present distraction in your home? Do your smartphones have a place at your dinner table? Is your television on more than it is off

Take breaks from electronic devices and make time for focused attention on one another. You might not even realise how ingrained these habits have become, until you consciously try to break them!

Have you experienced these challenges? Perhaps there are things to celebrate. Make time to not only celebrate and reflect on how far you’ve come over the years, but also to establish hopes, goals, and resolutions for the year to come.

Get started today and develop an action plan for change. Tune in for step three next week.

Source: The Couple Checkup Book ©2008

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: http://www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

The Change Model can help you develop an action plan for your relationship goals with six easy steps

Anniversaries are times to not only celebrate and reflect on how far you’ve come over the years, but also to establish hopes, goals, and resolutions for the year to come.

The CHANGE Model can help you develop an action plan for your relationship goals with six easy steps:

1. Commit to a Specific Goal:

First thing’s first. What is your goal? Perhaps you want to become a better listener for each other, or make one-on-one quality time more of a priority, or maybe you just want to improve the overall closeness in your relationship.

Make time with your partner to reflect on a goal that is Specific, be able to Measured to indicate progress, is Achievable, is Realistic and can be achieved within a Time frame (SMART) that is comfortable for you and your partner.

Get started today and develop an action plan for change. Tune in for step two next week.

Source: The Couple Checkup Book ©2008

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich
More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Australian Census Statistics on marriage and divorce 2016

Marriage is not for everyone. But for those that seek successful marriage and a fulfilling family life in which to raise healthy and happy children, functional families are seen as the bedrock of successful societies.

But whilst attempted by many, many fail.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics dated November 2016, there were 113,595 marriages registered Australia wide in 2015.

The number of marriages decreased in 2015 by 7,602 – down 6.3%. In 2011 there where 123,244 marriages, with 72% being a first marriage and 28% a remarriage, with the brides median aged 29 and grooms 34.

In the latest census data, the median age for women was 29.8 years and for men getting married was 31.8 years.

  • 81.1% of brides and 79.1% of grooms were marrying for the first time.
  • 16.3% of the marriages included one partner who had been married before.
  • Marriages where both partners had been married before were at 11.7%.
  • Couples who lived together prior to marriage accounted for 81%
  • 54.2% of couples married in 2015 were both born in Australia.
  • Out of the couples married in 2015 31.9% were born in different countries.
  • 13.9% were born in the same overseas country.

In the 2016 census data, 74.9% of

wedding ceremonies were conducted by a marriage celebrant. In 2011, 73% of wedding ceremonies were conducted by a marriage celebrant, with the remaining 27% by a religious organisation.

The average length of marriage has increased from 10.7 years in 1993 to 12.1 years in 2015 with the median age of divorce females 42.9 and 47 for males. And remarriages do not fair much better, with a greater proportion more likely to divorce than those who had not been previously married.

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Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ http://www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au
More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.
Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

Family and relationship services may increase protective factors for children and families at high risk of health and social problems

Family and relationship services and relationship-based prevention and early intervention programmes can address many risk processes that lead to health and social problems, while also building supportive relationships.

Social attachments and support have been described as important protective factors for ensuring mental health, wellbeing and quality of life. Commonly cited as a buffering mechanism against the experience of stressful and adverse life events, social support is often provided within social networks (Heerde, Toumbourou, Hemphill & Olsson, 2015) to provide mutual assistance and support to manage and reduce the impact of stressful events.

Social support lends itself to the potential role of family and relationship services intervening early at the onset of problems and have been associated with reduced anxiety (e.g. Lewinsohn, Gotlib, Lewinsohn, Seeley & Allen, 1998), depressive symptoms (e.g. Stice, Ragan & Randall, 2004), suicidal ideation (Sheeber, Hops, Alpert, Davis & Andrew, 1997) and substance use (e.g. Wills & Vaughan, 1989).

Many cost-effective family and relationship services have an explicit role in building social support to assist individuals and families through vulnerable life transitions.

Family and relationship services play a vital role in reducing health and social problems by:

  • assisting family members to understand and better develop social supports required for health and wellbeing;
  • and building social network for people that are vulnerable by virtue of problems such as an absence of parent role models.

Many of the health and social problems Australia currently faces are preventable. Focused support of the Family and Relationships Services sector can reduce the risks that lead to wider health and social problems, while also building supportive relationships.

Source:

  • Toumbourou, J., Hartman, D., Field, K., Jeffery, R., Brady, J., Heaton, A., Ghayour-Minaie, M., & Heerde, J. (2017). Strengthening prevention and early intervention services for families into the future. Deakin University and Family and Relationships Services Australia (FRSA)

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE >

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.
For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Psychologically healthy children with stable childhoods do better as adults

In the report The Cohabitation-Go-Round: Cohabitation and Family Stability Across the Globe, marriage is proported as the best framework for adults and their children, based on the mountain of social science demonstrating it.

When people have children, most want the best for those children. Sometimes having an intact family is outside parents’ control, and we certainly need to look at how to increase the chances for positive outcomes for children with single mothers and unmarried, cohabiting parents. With clear data that marriage is best for kids, though, all sexually active adults of childbearing age need to consider whether their decisions will create a safe space for any child they have.

The research findings suggest that children are likely to be safe from abuse and neglect when they’re born to married parents, and less likely to have problems with stress and trouble in school. The research goes on to say that psychologically healthy children with stable childhoods do better as adults.

Instead of starting kids out disadvantaged, children are given the best chance at success when their parents are married.

Source:

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

Children born to single mother households are 9 times more likely to have at least one family transition before the age of 12

In the report The Cohabitation-Go-Round: Cohabitation and Family Stability Across the Globe, it comes at a time when an ever-increasing number of children find themselves born into families that aren’t legally bound together by marriage. This is a new trend in the western world, and it’s being widely researched: in the US “…between the 1970s and the early 2000s, the percentage of women who got married by the time their first child was born fell by half, according to research by Jonathan Vespa, Ph.D., a demographer with the U.S. Census Bureau, and Kimberly Daniels, Ph.D., of the National Center for Health Statistics. The percentage of unmarried pregnant women who lived with their baby’s father by the time of the birth jumped from 8 percent to 28 percent. Says Dr. Vespa, ‘It’s been a record transformation.’ In Australia, one-parent households make up 16% of all households with 2011 ABS data citing 1 in 5 households being headed by a single parent.

Sometimes having an intact family is outside the parents’ control, and we certainly need to look at how to increase the chances for positive outcomes for children with single mothers and unmarried, cohabiting parents.

Adults cite many reasons for delaying or avoiding marriage, from simply not wanting to get married, to avoiding sharing bad financial credit, or not believing that marriage makes a relationship more secure. Women also increasingly feel that marriage isn’t needed to make them financially secure. Cultural acceptance of premarital sex combined with contraception use also means people are more likely to have unmarried sex, which can actually increase birthrates to unmarried couples because no form of contraception prevents conception 100 percent.

While religious groups have long championed marriage as the best framework for adults and their children, secular organisations and researchers have in recent decades been noting the same thing based on the mountain of social science demonstrating it. Children are more likely to be safe from abuse and neglect when they’re born to married parents, and less likely to have problems with stress and trouble in school.

Children born to single mothers experience even more instability than children born to cohabiting couples, with children in single-mother households being 9 times more likely to have at least one transition before the age of 12. This study firmly shows that across the world marriage confers the best chances for stability for children.

Source

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

    Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

    More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

    Take the Couple Checkup

    Take the Couple Checkup

    Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

    For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

    Children born to couples who are cohabiting are more likely to experience a “union transition” before they are 12

    A “union transition” is when their parent switches sex partners, which creates relationship instability in the family. This, in turn, raises the likelihood of issues such as emotional and behavioural challenges in both parents and children, higher rates of child abuse, and even higher risks for child mortality.

    In a recent study from the Institute for Family Studies (DeRose, et al, 2017) using data from 100 countries to demonstrate that families are more unstable when more children are born to unmarried parents or single mothers. In addition, detailed information from 68 countries shows that the growing numbers of couples choosing cohabitation rather than marriage increases the instability children experience in the early years of their life.

    The increased instability of non-marital childbearing persists regardless of the level of the mother’s education, meaning that even in well-educated families a lack of marriage hurts. The likelihood of instability varies by nation, but by-and-large the best chances for a stable and healthy childhood are found when parents are married before they conceive children.

    When children are born to couples who are cohabiting but not married, those children are more likely to experience what the report calls a “union transition” before they are 12 years old.

    “[C]ohabitation continues to confer a stability disadvantage on individual children even as cohabitation has become more normative,” the report says. “We find no evidence supporting the idea that in societies where cohabiting births are more common, marriage and cohabitation come to resemble each other in terms of stability for children.”

    Source

    Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

      Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

      More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

      Take the Couple Checkup

      Take the Couple Checkup

      Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

      Take the Couple Checkup

      The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

      The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

      For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships