Tag Archives: children

Psychologically healthy children with stable childhoods do better as adults

In the report The Cohabitation-Go-Round: Cohabitation and Family Stability Across the Globe, marriage is proported as the best framework for adults and their children, based on the mountain of social science demonstrating it.

When people have children, most want the best for those children. Sometimes having an intact family is outside parents’ control, and we certainly need to look at how to increase the chances for positive outcomes for children with single mothers and unmarried, cohabiting parents. With clear data that marriage is best for kids, though, all sexually active adults of childbearing age need to consider whether their decisions will create a safe space for any child they have.

The research findings suggest that children are likely to be safe from abuse and neglect when they’re born to married parents, and less likely to have problems with stress and trouble in school. The research goes on to say that psychologically healthy children with stable childhoods do better as adults.

Instead of starting kids out disadvantaged, children are given the best chance at success when their parents are married.

Source:

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

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Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

Children born to single mother households are 9 times more likely to have at least one family transition before the age of 12

In the report The Cohabitation-Go-Round: Cohabitation and Family Stability Across the Globe, it comes at a time when an ever-increasing number of children find themselves born into families that aren’t legally bound together by marriage. This is a new trend in the western world, and it’s being widely researched: in the US “…between the 1970s and the early 2000s, the percentage of women who got married by the time their first child was born fell by half, according to research by Jonathan Vespa, Ph.D., a demographer with the U.S. Census Bureau, and Kimberly Daniels, Ph.D., of the National Center for Health Statistics. The percentage of unmarried pregnant women who lived with their baby’s father by the time of the birth jumped from 8 percent to 28 percent. Says Dr. Vespa, ‘It’s been a record transformation.’ In Australia, one-parent households make up 16% of all households with 2011 ABS data citing 1 in 5 households being headed by a single parent.

Sometimes having an intact family is outside the parents’ control, and we certainly need to look at how to increase the chances for positive outcomes for children with single mothers and unmarried, cohabiting parents.

Adults cite many reasons for delaying or avoiding marriage, from simply not wanting to get married, to avoiding sharing bad financial credit, or not believing that marriage makes a relationship more secure. Women also increasingly feel that marriage isn’t needed to make them financially secure. Cultural acceptance of premarital sex combined with contraception use also means people are more likely to have unmarried sex, which can actually increase birthrates to unmarried couples because no form of contraception prevents conception 100 percent.

While religious groups have long championed marriage as the best framework for adults and their children, secular organisations and researchers have in recent decades been noting the same thing based on the mountain of social science demonstrating it. Children are more likely to be safe from abuse and neglect when they’re born to married parents, and less likely to have problems with stress and trouble in school.

Children born to single mothers experience even more instability than children born to cohabiting couples, with children in single-mother households being 9 times more likely to have at least one transition before the age of 12. This study firmly shows that across the world marriage confers the best chances for stability for children.

Source

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

    Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

    More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

    Take the Couple Checkup

    Take the Couple Checkup

    Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

    For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

    Children born to couples who are cohabiting are more likely to experience a “union transition” before they are 12

    A “union transition” is when their parent switches sex partners, which creates relationship instability in the family. This, in turn, raises the likelihood of issues such as emotional and behavioural challenges in both parents and children, higher rates of child abuse, and even higher risks for child mortality.

    In a recent study from the Institute for Family Studies (DeRose, et al, 2017) using data from 100 countries to demonstrate that families are more unstable when more children are born to unmarried parents or single mothers. In addition, detailed information from 68 countries shows that the growing numbers of couples choosing cohabitation rather than marriage increases the instability children experience in the early years of their life.

    The increased instability of non-marital childbearing persists regardless of the level of the mother’s education, meaning that even in well-educated families a lack of marriage hurts. The likelihood of instability varies by nation, but by-and-large the best chances for a stable and healthy childhood are found when parents are married before they conceive children.

    When children are born to couples who are cohabiting but not married, those children are more likely to experience what the report calls a “union transition” before they are 12 years old.

    “[C]ohabitation continues to confer a stability disadvantage on individual children even as cohabitation has become more normative,” the report says. “We find no evidence supporting the idea that in societies where cohabiting births are more common, marriage and cohabitation come to resemble each other in terms of stability for children.”

    Source

    Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

      Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

      More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

      Take the Couple Checkup

      Take the Couple Checkup

      Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

      Take the Couple Checkup

      The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

      The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

      For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #strongerrelationships

      The 5 big areas for conflict in relationships: Children

      Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws and Children are the five big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to discussing issues that arise will ensure our relationship is sustained for the long-term.

      All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

      This series of blog posts explores each of the five big areas for conflict in relationships, emphasising that by taking intentional steps to discuss and resolve these issues, they will have a lasting effect.

      5. Children: Baring and raising children can have a significant impact on your relationship and in some cases completely dominate it. Having a shared understanding of the impact of children on us physically, socially and mentally is crucial for the long-term success of our relationship.

      Establishing boundaries and ensuring appropriate time with your partner is important – and sticking to these shared rules is mandatory.

      If much of the conflict that occurs in relationships arises out of conflicting expectations, uncover them and discuss a solution. Be aware of your partners personal goals and your goals as a couple and a family. Goals provide meaning and direction in life, and striving for goals provides a sense of purpose.

      Define your family tree and discuss the various relationships. Work towards a shared understanding of how and when these interactions will take place. Ensure one-on-one time is scheduled with each child.

      Additionally, household tasks and the allocation of those is critical in the arduous role of a parent. Discuss and script an approach balance that works for your relationship. Remain open to change and decide an approach that is balanced for both you and your partner.

      Discuss family, those interactions and feelings regularly (weekly). Keep the lines of communication open and support your partner. Work with your partner and ensure they are number one.

      Do you need a boost in your relationship? The PREPARE/ENRICH relationship assessment has been proven to assist couples for over 40 years. Looking for a facilitator to work with you, then contact us.

      PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

      More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com