Being proactive is more effective than avoidance or waiting until small issues become major problems.
The Problem with Unrealistic Expectations
While the phenomenon of being love struck is quite normal, it can also be a setup when experienced in extremes. There are several problems associated with unrealistic marriage expectations.
- 4. Failure to deal with relevant issues:
Several of the items in this category reveal a tendency to deny and minimise issues. One item hints at the notion of time alone resolving issues. Another suggests difficulties experienced prior to marriage will somehow fade after the wedding. A third states it may be easier to change things I don’t like about my partner after marriage. The sum total of these items is avoidance and reluctance to deal with issues.
Marriage Expectations is a challenging, yet fun area of discussion for premarital couples, however whilst these couples often have a lot to discuss as they prepare for marriage, healthy dialogue about expectations is critical. The key question for exploration for engaged couples is:
“My partner is the only person with whom I could have a happy marriage.”
Tune in next week for more interesting ideas and tips.
Source: Peter Larson, Ph.D.
References: Olson, D. H. (2004). PREPARE/ENRICH Counselor’s Manual. Minneapolis: Life Innovations.
Slater, L. (2006). True Love. National Geographic. February, 32-49.
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