Pick up an old hobby: Balancing I and we (Part III)

We all know a one couple that seems to do everything together. You know the one. They share every leisure activity, and rarely if ever, does one partner make plans that don’t involve the other. Maybe you see this in your best friend’s relationship, maybe in a relative’s relationship, or maybe in your own!Maintaining a sense of emotional closeness with your partner is important; it is one of the major pillars of a healthy intimate relationship. That said, you can have too much of a good thing. 

Dr. David Olson’s Circumplex Model research demonstrates that a healthy relationship requires a balance of togetherness and separateness. Closeness is important, but so is maintaining your own sense of identity and independence.

Here are some tips for achieving an appropriate balance between “I” and “We”:

    Pick up an old hobby — or find a new one. Perhaps you used to be into crafting or photography or gardening, but life got busy, and you just can’t seem to find the time anymore. Make the time! You may have forgotten how much enjoyment or stress relief the activity provides you. Or discover a new hobby by taking a class, either alone or with friends.

Know that spending time apart does not mean you are decreasing the overall closeness in your relationship.

When a strong emotional connection already exists, you and your partner are able to pursue your own separate interests and endeavours to help each of you grow individually, while still feeling supported by your partner and confident in your relationship.

More tips at www.Intentional-Relationship.com

Used with permission from PREPARE/ENRICH: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call us today (02) 9520 4049

PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.


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