If much of the conflict that occurs in your marriage arises out of conflicting role expectations, uncovering them and discuss a solution. List your household tasks and the allocation that occurred in your family of origin, discuss those assumptions and rescript an approach that works for your marriage.
All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.
Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.
These eight principles help to make marriage last.
Principle 2 – Rescript your marriage and family life:
Role modelling is the most basic responsibility of parents. Because our childhood experiences shape our lives, day-to-day modelling is our highest form of influence. If much of our conflict areas rise out of conflicting role expectations, uncovering them and discuss a solution. We can rewrite our scripts, our normal ways of doing things.
A practical approach is to list all you weekly household tasks and allocate ownership for each. Many of our expectations about task allocation will be based on our family of origin and who undertook certain tasks in our childhood. Discuss the task allocation that occurred in your family of origin and understand that there are ingrained assumptions etched into out brains – who did what and when. The challenge here is to uncover those assumptions and rescript an approach that works for your marriage. Remain open to change and decide an approach that is balanced for both you and your partner.
Principle three, next week…
More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com
Consider the Better Marriages, Australia Conference in Sydney 7-8 September 2013 at the Newport Mirage, details on the website at: Better Marriages, Australia Conference 2013