More positive than negative is the key to successful Marriage

Aim for greater than 5 times positive moments in your marriage to the negative. If as Gottman suggests, marital satisfaction is linked to each partners’ physiological response to one another, then balancing positive and negative 5:1 gives partners a guide on how we need to behave. When your relationship tends toward negative responses to one another such as stubbornness, withdrawal, contempt or defensiveness, consider the 5 plus times you need to express interest, show affection, or being appreciative or showing concern. Whilst there is some evidence that conflict may serve se positive function in marriage, too much negativity can be harmful. Think about a positive thing you can for your partner right now and act on it. Be intentional about your relationship.

Adapted from Gottman, J. 2007: ‘Why marriages Succeed or Fail’; Bloomsbury, London.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s