Balance: 15 minutes a day being creative makes a huge difference to your well-being

We are all in a state of entropy and only consistent and continued refinement and attention to Physical, Intellectual, Social and our Spiritual selves is vital to retain balance. To ensure an upward spiral of growth, change, and continuous improvement in ourselves and our relationships, learn to take care of yourself.

2. Intellectual
If we appreciate that change is inevitable, therefore focusing on getting better through enhanced awareness and careful exploration of issues and by developing and improving skills to deal with those issues, we remain flexible and allow for error and therefore alleviate anxiety.

Consider reading, meditation, visualising, planning and writing. Stimulate the right side of your brain, engage in create endeavours and take time out to think outside the everyday. Research suggests that 15 minutes a day makes a huge difference to your well-being and can stimulate the brain to learn in new and different ways. Enjoy the journey as well as the destination.

Reference:

  • Covey, S, 1989: Principle Centred Leadership

Tune in for more tips and tricks next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

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Balance: Start slow and build up to make exercise a regular part of your day and week

We are all in a state of entropy and only consistent and continued refinement and attention to Physical, Intellectual, Social and our Spiritual selves is vital to retain balance. To ensure an upward spiral of growth, change, and continuous improvement in ourselves and our relationships, learn to take care of yourself.

  1. Physical

Exercise whenever you can and feel the chemical change in your body. Get out doors and enjoy the world. Despite the challenges, it truly is a beautiful world we live in.

Start slow and build up to make exercise a regular part of your day and week. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Improvement becomes the norm and if we take this into our relationships, we can focus on improving rather than thinking that it ought to be perfect.

If we appreciate that change is inevitable, therefore focusing on getting better rather than being perfect, we can alleviate anxiety. Enjoy the journey as well as the destination. Start today.

Reference:

  • Covey, S, 1989: Principle Centred Leadership

Tune in for more tips and tricks next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

Balance: continued refinement and attention to all of the following four areas in our lives

Often we find we live our lives narrowly focusing on work or home. Think about your life and the balance you maintain. Change is possible and often easier than you think.

The late Stephen Covey suggests consistent and continued refinement and attention to all of the following four areas in our lives:

  1. Physical;
  2. Intellectual;
  3. Social and
  4. Spiritual.

Attempting to balance exercise, nutrition and stress management (physical); by reading, visualising, planning and writing (Intellectual); focusing on clarifying values and our commitment, dedicating time to study, our faith and/or meditation (Spiritual); and through our service, being empathic, being synergistic and ensuring security (Social), ensures success.

Don’t get caught up in the demands of life and forget ourselves and our partner. Be proactive and do this for your relationship. “We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time to regularly sharpen the saw in all four ways”.

You don’t have to get it right the first time. This is part of life’s journey of learning and developing. You will get there if you are willing to invest the time and effort to developing new habits.

Reference:

  • Covey, S, 1989: Principle Centred Leadership

Tune in for more tips and tricks next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

Many young couples view technology as a way to bring greater intimacy to their relationship, even as it introduces new sources of tension

Whilst most of the qualities that help sustain a good relationship have not changed – commitment, effective communication, constructive conflict and patience, honesty, forgiveness amongst others – there is strong evidence that couples are using mobile technologies to enhance their relationships. Both the opportunities and threats associated with the use of internet and mobile device use including the stress associated with their use by couples must be understood and considered to ensure effective communication in all their life stages.

While younger adults in serious relationships are more likely than older couples to report that the internet has had an impact on their relationship, this impact can cut both ways. Many young couples view technology as a way to bring greater intimacy to their relationship, even as it introduces new sources of tension.

  • 45% of online 18-29 year olds in serious relationships say the internet has had an impact on their relationship – 21% say a major impact.
  • 42% of 18-29 year olds with a mobile phone in a serious relationship say their partner has been distracted by their phone while they were together.
  • 41% of online 18-29 year olds in serious relationships felt closer to their partner because of online or text conversations.

“Technology is everywhere and our relationships are no exception,” said Amanda Lenhart, lead author of the report and Senior Researcher at the Pew Research Center. “And for younger adults and those in newer relationships, tools such as mobile phones and social media are there at the beginning and play a greater role today for good and for ill.”

Reference:

Tune in for more tips and tricks next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

Facebook: Ease of access to personal details is only the tip of the iceberg

Whilst Facebook is facing its own challenges regarding trust and compromise of customer data via the Cambridge Analytica scandal, concerns regarding this technology at a personal level are much more pervasive and can create difficult situations for couples involving emotional intimacy and fidelity. The ease of access to personal details is obvious but additionally is the ease at which private communication can take place including access and the sharing of intimate information and pornographic images. Facebook is increasing cited in divorce proceedings in both the US and UK.

Social media has changed the daily lives of couples by:

  • How they stay in touch with others (and reconnect with people);
  • The way couples make friends, how they find acquaintances and how others find partners by connecting with people anywhere in the world;
  • How couples do business, how businesses connect to buyers and potential buyers;
  • How they reveal themselves and share information;
  • How couples allow their voice to be heard – to amplify a message; and
  • How they learn.

Whilst most of the qualities that help sustain a good relationship have not changed – commitment, effective communication, constructive conflict and patience, honesty, forgiveness amongst others – there is strong evidence that couples are using these technologies to enhance their relationships. Both the opportunities and threats associated with the use of internet and mobile technologies including the stress associated with their use by couples must be understood and considered to ensure effective communication in all their life stages.

Reference:

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

More tips at Intentional-Relationship.com

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

Texting and relationship quality: Men tend to use texting when they are avoiding confrontation

Text as a casual method of staying in touch seems to be a good thing. Many people text to maintain the relationship however studies show that men and women generally text at differing levels of intimacy. Women do not generally text about severe subjects and men even less so.

Men also tend to use texting when they are avoiding confrontation, while female texting frequency was positively associated with their own relationship stability.

Lori Schade and Jonathan Sandberg, studied 276 young adults in the US to see what communicating through texts did to their relationship. 38 percent described their relationship as serious, 46 percent were engaged, and 16 percent were married. Each of them completed a detailed relationship assessment that covered, among other things, their use of technology.

Here are a few highlights from the report they publish in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy:

  • For women: Using text messages to apologise, work out differences or make decisions is associated with lower relationship quality
  • For men: Too frequent texting is associated with lower relationship quality
  • For all: Expressing affection via text enhances the relationship

Male texting frequency was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction and stability scores for both partners while female texting frequency was positively associated with their own relationship stability scores. Texting to express affection was associated with higher reported partner attachment for both men and women.

References:

  • Louis D. Lo Praeste, death and texting, 25 October 2017,
  • Schade, L., Sandberg, J., Bean, R., Busby, D., and Coyne, S., 2013: Using Technology to Connect in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Attachment, Relationship Satisfaction, and Stability in Emerging Adults, P 314-338 Published online: 28 Oct 2013 (BYU professors Roy Bean, Dean Busby and Sarah Coyne co-authored the study with Schade and Sandberg).

Tune in next week for more relationship tips and ideas.

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

62% of women suggest that their mobile phone distracts their spouse or partner when they are together

The internet, mobile phones and social media have become key players in the life of couples, with many claiming they have had an impact on their relationship. In less than 10 years, digital technology has made itself felt in most relationships – in how couples communicate, grow closer, plan, fight and make up.

Whilst most say the impact is positive, in a recent survey by the Pennsylvania State University and Brigman Young University, 62% of women claimed that technology interfered with time spent with their partner and almost one third of respondents said their boyfriend has looked at his smartphone while they were talking.

Termed ‘Phubbing’, researchers are saying phone snubbing is killing relationships and the impact cannot be underestimated. The internet, mobile phones and social media, for many is either an important or emerging issue.

Understanding the influence and implications of internet, mobile phone and social media use on your relationship and the implications is critical.

References:

  • McDaniel, B: 2016: The Pennsylvania State University and
  • Coyne, S: 2016 Brigman Young University.

Tune in next week for more relationship tips and ideas.

Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au