Research suggests that perpetrators of abuse can become more violent when they suspect their abusiveness has been reported

Based on PREPARE/ENRICH data of over 20,000 married couples, the results found Conflicted and Devitalised couples displayed characteristics of abusive and the highest levels reported ranging above 50%. They also demonstrated lower levels of communication, conflict resolution, couple closeness and flexibility compared to non-abusing couples, and higher levels of alcohol and/or drug abuse.

On the Relationship Dynamics scale, abusing couples were more often HIGH on Avoidance and Partner Dominance and LOW on Assertiveness and Self Confidence.

If you know or suspect a couple is in a physically abusive relationship, consider the following:

  • Research suggests that perpetrators of abuse can become more violent when they suspect their abusiveness has been reported.
  • We recommend these couples not take the assessment at home. Instead, administer the assessment in the controlled environment of your office.

Goals in Working with Abusive Couples:

  • Once you learn of abuse, you should do an individual session which includes a more in-depth assessment of abuse issues from each person’s perspective.
  • Discuss and show the couple the connection between abuse and the lack of relationship skills like communication and conflict resolution.
  • Help the couple to build a stronger relationship.
  • If it is not possible for the couple to maintain a safe and healthy relationship, help them make decisions about how to stay safe in the future.
  • If you are not trained or experienced in working with abusive couples, make a referral to persons that specialise in dealing with abuse issues.

Relevant questions to raise with abusive couples:

  • What triggers violence in your relationship?
  • Have you ever felt the need to seek shelter away from your household or to get away from your partner?
  • If and when things turn abusive or violent in your relationship, who can you turn to for help?

For more help, referrals, and information on abuse, please visit or refer the following:

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

24 hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Call toll-free 1800 737 732.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Lifeline has a national number who can help put you in contact with a crisis service in your State. Anyone across Australia experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide can call 13 11 14.

Police and Ambulance: 000

Dial 000 in an emergency and in cases of immediate danger.

Stay tuned for more information on this topic next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.intentional-relationship.com

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Intentional Parenting: 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family – prepare a meal and eat together

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about enjoying each others company, connecting and most importantly having fun!

We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own house.

8. Eat healthy – prepare a meal and eat together

Providing healthy meals is very important to me. This can often seem overwhelming and unattainable with our busy schedules, but when we take the time to sit down and prep for a meal, we are able to enjoy each other and enjoy more varied meals. Meal planning may also reduce stress and even save money, which is a bonus!

Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

Reference:

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.intentional-relationship.com

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Intentional Parenting: 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family – Create rituals and traditions

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about enjoying each others company, connecting and most importantly having fun!

We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own house.

7. Create rituals and traditions

Family rituals are things that you do together regularly to look forward to, and we all expect them to happen. Our family has adapted to Friday Pizza Night, then we do our own thing – free night. During the warmer months you might decide to go on a walk together after dinner. These activities don’t have to be set in stone if something else comes up.

Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

Reference:

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.intentional-relationship.com

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Intentional Parenting: 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family – Spend time together

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about enjoying each others company, connecting and most importantly having fun!

We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own house.

6. Spend time together – Life is busy. I have found that as my children get older, more activities and social events get added to the calendar that pull us in opposite directions. It is important to make sure you are taking time as a family to enjoy each other, connect, and most importantly have fun! Spending time together doesn’t have to cost money to create the best of memories. Remember it is the time together that you will remember. Be creative by having each member of the family make a list of things that they like to do and do them together.

Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

Reference:

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Establish routines: Intentional Parenting – 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about the quality of time you spend together versus the quantity. We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own household.

5. Establish routines – Routines get children involved and give them a sense of responsibility. They make mornings run much smoother and provide predictability for their ever-growing brains. As your child learns and grows, having a routine they know is in place will help them be prepared for the day. Just like you have a routine every morning on your way out the door to work, your child needs a routine as well.

Use this year as an opportunity to create a fresh start. Be intentional with your family. Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

References

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Date your partner: Intentional Parenting – 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about the quality of time you spend together versus the quantity.

We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own household.

4. Date your partner – Most couples know that they are supposed to have regular date nights. I’ll be honest, in this season of life it’s hard to take time to go on an actual date with my wife. It’s not cheap to go out to dinner and hire a babysitter for three kids every week or month. Alternatively, put the kids to bed and commit to a date night at home.

Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

References

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Make self-care a priority: Intentional Parenting – 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

A goal for you might be about the quality of time you spend together versus the quantity. We have come up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own household.

3. Make self-care a priority – It’s okay to take care of yourself and put your needs first. You can’t pour from an empty tank! Your kids will benefit from you taking time for yourself because you will be a more patient and energised parent.

Try picking one thing each week that is just for you (i.e. working out, eating healthier, more sleep, pamper session).

By setting intentions for family time, it takes pressure off of you and your family to accomplish those unreasonable expectations.

Use this year as an opportunity to create a fresh start. Be intentional with your family. Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

References

  1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014): The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships