Consider articulating relationship (and family) outcomes and put them where you and your partner can see them

When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee outcomes and articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.

Reflect on the outcomes you’ve set for your relationship and consider how you each will contribute. Revisit your list regularly and assess where progress was made.

Some ideas to reflect on:

  • Meet regularly to review progress;
  • Reset the goals if needed as things may have changed or impacted on progress;
  • Reflect of your relationship’s strength and growth areas and be realistic about areas you need to work on;
  • Celebrate your successes;
  • Keep communicating and developing goals!

This is a life long process. You’ll get better at it over time and the rewards will come. Good luck.

Source: PREPARE/ENRICH Discussion Guide for Couples.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome

When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee outcomes. Whether you work through your PREPARE/ENRICH assessment results in its entirety or section by section, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few outcomes and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present and in view will help remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.

In practice:

When you create your own outcomes, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience. Increased satisfaction? Greater understanding? More support? Enrich your relationship?

Reflect on the outcomes you’ve set for your relationship and consider how you each will contribute.

Revisit your list of desired outcomes and assess where progress was made.

Being intentional about this process and your relationship goes along way to ensuring success. Keeping each other accountable however, is where the rubber hits the road. It’s a joint effort and you are both invested in the outcome. Make it happen.

Source: PREPARE/ENRICH Discussion Guide for Couples.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

Setting and achieving goals in your relationship

This year, my wife and I have set goals for ourselves individually, as a couple, family goals and work goals.

Sure, we cover all the obvious areas such as finances, career, sex, time together, time with friends and family, but what we always find is that our couple goals are what makes up most of the discussion.

To drive the discussion we started with the following broad questions:

  • How can we gain a greater awareness of our relationship strength and growth areas?
  • What do we need to do about the areas we need to work on?
  • How do we gage success and how often do we check-in?
  • One achieved, how should we celebrate; and importantly
  • How do we ensure and open and constant communication!

The Journey

When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee the target goal. Whether you work through these in a single session or over a few weeks, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.

Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few goals and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present during the time you are discussing progress to remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.

Review: When you create your goals, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience.

Will they:

  • Increase relationship satisfaction?
  • Provide greater understanding?
  • Enable greater support of each other?
  • Enrich our relationship?

Reflect on the goals you’ve set for your relationship in 2018 and consider how you each will contribute. Revisit your list of desired goals within a week after setting them, then continually assess where progress was made and consider articulating relationship (and family) outcomes to continue the momentum.

Review 2019 goals because 2020 is just around the corner…

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Is conflict resolution a possible Strength Area in your relationship?

Conflict Resolution is your ability to discuss and resolve differences. Also how effectively you are able to share opinions, ideas, and feelings with your partner, even during times of conflict.

Discussion. Do you:

  • Feel understood while discussing problems?
  • Feel individually responsible for problems in your relationship?
  • Say nothing to avoid hurting your partner?

Is conflict resolution a possible Strength Area in your relationship?

Takeaway:

Be proud of your strengths! It is unrealistic to expect you’ll agree on everything, but start by trying to understand one another’s thoughts and feelings. Good communication will help you problem solve and further improve this area of your relationship.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Poor Conflict Resolution can become more problematic over time and affect other areas of your relationship such as closeness and communication

Conflict Resolution is your ability to discuss and resolve differences. Also how effectively you are able to share opinions, ideas, and feelings with your spouse, even during times of conflict.

Discussion. Do you both feel positive about:

  • Bringing differences to a point of resolution?
  • Expressing feelings/ideas while resolving differences?
  • Whether or not you have disputes over trivial issues?

With some effort you can improve this area of your relationship by learning and practicing new skills. A healthy goal is not to avoid conflict. Instead, develop good conflict resolution skills so differences can be productively resolved. If neglected, conflict resolution issues can become more problematic over time and affect other areas of your relationship such as closeness and communication.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

How does non-verbal communication contribute to dealing with conflict?

Choose your attitude and behaviour, communicate openly and consider your non-verbal stance, expression and situation. This creates trust and intimacy.

Lean forward and show interest in your partners world by asking questions and listening and then… asking more questions about the topic – remain interested. Remove distractions, sit face-to-face if necessary, with an open stance.

Commit to loyalty and openness and when you have an issue, seek to resolve it with consideration for the relationship first.

DISCUSSION:

  • How does non-verbal communication contribute to dealing with conflict in your relationship?
  • What are non-verbal cues that you give your partner or that your partner gives you that influence the direction of the discussion?
  • Ask your partner what they often observe as you might not notice your own non-verbal cues, but remember to be respectful.

TAKEAWAY:

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but if dealt with in a healthy, productive, and respectful way, it can bring you closer as a couple and make your relationship stronger.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.

Commit to evaluating your next conflict and take time to discuss how you dealt with the disagreement

Since it often takes time to learn new strategies and because conflicts organically develop, make a commitment to evaluate your next conflict.

Agree that the next time a conflict comes up, you’ll take time to discuss how you dealt with the disagreement. Think of it as reviewing your relationship performance.

Take note of what new strategies helped and where you each need to be more mindful. By doing this, you and your partner are being accountable for the application of these skills into your life and thus strengthening your relationship.

Discussion:

  • Did you resolve the issue? How did that feel?
  • How was the process? What worked well, what didn’t?
  • Where passed issues raised?
  • What non-verbal cues did you notice?
  • Were we both respectful to each other?

Takeaway:

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but if dealt with in a healthy, productive, and respectful way, it can bring you closer as a couple and make your relationship stronger.

Source: DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR COUPLES, PREPARE/ENRICH 2017

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

#PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships.