What did you most enjoy about your relationship today? 5 minutes a day can transform your relationship

Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk about your relationship, rather than discussing your activities that day. The focus of this dialogue should be on your feelings about each other and your lives together. Set aside five minutes per day to discuss the following:

    What did you most enjoy about your relationship today?
    What was dissatisfying about your relationship today?
    How can you be helpful to each other?

By taking time each day to talk and focus on your partner can make a huge difference in the short and medium term. Used to increase intimacy, daily dialogue is designed to activate discussion, discovery, and increase the overall quality of your relationship.

Consider the Couple Checkup, a tool designed to help you and your partner build a more satisfying and intimate relationship. The Couple Checkup evaluates up to 25 important areas in a couple’s relationship including: couple and family systems, personality and age and stage of relationship.

Adapted from www.prepare-enrich.com.au, the Couple Checkup evaluates important areas in a couple’s relationship including eight core scales (i.e. communication, conflict resolution, role relationship and sexual relationship), four couple and family system scales (closeness and flexibility), five personality scales (based on the Big Five Personality Scales), and between four and eight specific scales relevant to the age and stage of the couple based on background questions ( i.e. cohabiting, children from previous relationship, and intergenerational issues).

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

Tune in for more tips next week… or contact me Shane Smith shane@intentional-relationship.com or @ www.workofheart.net.www.workofheart.net.au

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

 

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions.

The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

Teach each other: 3 Ways to be a Lifelong Learner in Your Relationship

In long-term relationships, we often get to a certain point and feel as if we know “everything” about our partner. But whether you’ve been together for 3 years or 30+, there’s a good chance that there are still new things to learn about each other – it just might require more digging than it did when you were first getting to know each other.

But over time, we also change as individuals, which makes knowing everything about each other somewhat of a moving target. And that’s why we should strive to be lifelong learners about each other!

Following on from last weeks post, here are some tips on how you can be a lifelong learner in your relationship.

  • Teach each other: It’s relatively common knowledge that experiencing new things together brings you closer as a couple – it’s the essence of dating, after all! But let’s be honest, we don’t always have the time or money for “novelty experience” dates. Plus, they don’t always offer the opportunity for great conversation. What if you took turns teaching each other a skill or hobby of your own instead? Whether it’s getting a lesson in gardening or learning to change a tire, you might be surprised by how much your partner knows about a certain topic. Ask questions. Be an enthusiastic student. You might see sides of each other you don’t usually get to see.

Lifelong educational learning benefits your mind and well-being in a myriad of ways. Lifelong learning about your partner does the same for your relationship in the form of increased connection and positive growth as individuals and as a couple. It acts as a foil to complacency as it requires continuouscommunication. After all, lifelong really is lifelong. The catch to lifelong learning is that the more you already know (whether it’s about auto repair, gardening, or your partner), the more effort you’ll need to put in to learn something new. But in the end, it’ll only enhance your journey together, and we think you’ll find it’s worth it.

Reference: https://blog.prepare-enrich.com/2017/12/3-ways-to-be-a-lifelong-learner-in-your-relationship/

Used with permission of PREPARE/ENRICH.

One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.

Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

 

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

By asking questions and staying curious about your partner, you gain insight and learn more about them: 3 Ways to be a Lifelong Learner in Your Relationship

In long-term relationships, we often get to a certain point and feel as if we know “everything” about our partner. But whether you’ve been together for 3 years or 30+, there’s a good chance that there are still new things to learn about each other – it just might require more digging than it did when you were first getting to know each other.

Over time, we also change as individuals, which makes knowing everything about each other somewhat of a moving target. And that’s why we should strive to be lifelong learners about each other!

Following on from last weeks post, here are some tips on how you can be a lifelong learner in your relationship.

  • Be curious: Maybe your partner still listens to that same album on repeat just like they did 20 years ago—it really is their all-time favorite. Have you asked them why? Maybe you did – 20 years ago. Have you asked them lately? The reasons could be the same, but maybe they aren’t. Since you know the album hasn’t changed in 20 years, it could mean something in your partner has.

By asking questions and staying curious about your partner, you gain insight and learn more about them—as they currently are, instead of whom you’ve always assumed them to be.

Lifelong educational learning benefits your mind and well-being in a myriad of ways. Lifelong learning about your partner does the same for your relationship in the form of increased connection and positive growth as individuals and as a couple. It acts as a foil to complacency as it requires continuous communication.

After all, lifelong really is lifelong. The catch to lifelong learning is that the more you already know (whether it’s about auto repair, gardening, or your partner), the more effort you’ll need to put in to learn something new. But in the end, it’ll only enhance your journey together, and we think you’ll find it’s worth it.

Reference: https://blog.prepare-enrich.com/2017/12/3-ways-to-be-a-lifelong-learner-in-your-relationship/

Used with permission of PREPARE/ENRICH.

One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.

Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

 

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

Don’t put your partner in a box: 3 Ways to be a Lifelong Learner in Your Relationship

When you graduated from school or university, did you say to yourself, “Well, that’s it! I now know everything I need to know. My days of learning are over!” Probably not. In fact, you’ve probably continued to learn about new topics, acquire new skills, and seek out random tidbits of information, even if your days of formal education are over. It’s not only fun and fulfilling, but also keeps your mind open and your heart young, among other tangible and intangible benefits.

Interestingly, in long-term relationships, we often get to a certain point and feel as if we know “everything” about our partner. But whether you’ve been together for 3 years or 30+, there’s a good chance that there are still new things to learn about each other – it just might require more digging than it did when you were first getting to know each other.

In the beginning, everything was a new discovery: favorite foods, pet peeves, embarrassing childhood memories, irrational fears. We’d converse for hours about everything and nothing, soaking up information about this new person in your life.

Time passes, and we become familiar with each other’s quirks and see new facets of each other across different situations. Somewhere along the way, the curiosity-driven questions start to wane. We begin to make predictions and assumptions about each other, without even realising it. It is comforting to know each other so well, knowing exactly how the other likes their coffee or whether they’ll feel like being social or staying in on a Friday night after long week. We no longer need to wonder, worry, or stress about each other’s preferences – we’re comfortable

But over time, we also change as individuals, which makes knowing everything about each other somewhat of a moving target. And that’s why we should strive to be lifelong learners about each other!

Here are some tips on how you can be a lifelong learner in your relationship.

    Don’t put your partner in a box:
  • Let’s say you go out to eat at your favorite Italian restaurant. When the waiter takes your order of seafood ravioli, your partner exclaims, “Really? But you always have the chicken marsala!” Feels a little weird, right? A bit like a shirt that’s too tight across the shoulders—restrictive. There is probably no ill intent behind the comment, but if this keeps recurring, you might be a bit hesitant to venture out of your comfort zone in the future. You could start to feel a subconscious obligation to be the person they’ve always known. But you both need space and positive reinforcement to grow.
  • Let your partner surprise you now and then, and respond in a way that says, “That’s not what I expected from you, but I love you for it.”
  • Lifelong educational learning benefits your mind and well-being in a myriad of ways. Lifelong learning about your partner does the same for your relationship in the form of increased connection and positive growth as individuals and as a couple. It acts as a foil to complacency as it requires continuous communication.

    After all, lifelong really is lifelong. The catch to lifelong learning is that the more you already know (whether it’s about car repairs, gardening, or your partner), the more effort you’ll need to put in to learn something new. But in the end, it will only enhance your journey together, and we think you’ll find it’s worth the effort.

    Tune in for tip 2 next week.

    Reference: https://blog.prepare-enrich.com/2017/12/3-ways-to-be-a-lifelong-learner-in-your-relationship/

    Used with permission of PREPARE/ENRICH.

    One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.

    Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

    For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

     

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

    Are you concerned about doing more than your share of the household tasks?

    Exploring relationship roles and your expectations about how household responsibilities will be shared is vital towards understanding each other’s preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in your relationship.

    Are you concerned about doing more than your share of the household tasks.

    • Have you shared this concern with your partner?
    • Why do you feel that you are doing/will do more than your share of the tasks?
    • What do you feel is a fair share of the household tasks?
    • What can both of you do now to resolve this issue?

    We expect to divide household tasks based on our interests and skills rather than in traditional roles.

    • What roles did your parents choose in regards to household tasks?
    • What do you see your role to be?
    • What do you see your partner’s role to be?

    If both partners are working, and one partner is doing a greater share of household tasks for example, then this inequity needs to be raised with your partner.

    • Have you shared with each other what you would like for your roles to be regarding household tasks? 

    If not then you need to start talking, else you may need to or seek assistance from a marriage educator or relationship counselor.

    One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.

    Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

    For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

     

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

    Are you sharing the household responsibilities in your relationship? If this is an issue for you, you may need to explore each other’s family of origin

    Exploring relationship roles and your expectations about how household responsibilities will be shared is vital towards understanding each other’s preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in your relationship.

    • How do you plan to balance your work with household tasks and responsibilities? 
    • Are there certain tasks that neither of you like to do? 
    • What would need to happen in this area to make it feel most fair?

    Often our traditional or equalitarian behaviours are bought into out relationship from our family of origin. If you expect to have an equal relationship, where you and your partner share household responsibilities or you feel that you would be happier if there was a more even balance in your relationship, then you should explore family of origin in more depth.

    When it comes to roles and responsibilities, both partners should be willing to adjust.

    • What adjustments do you feel a wife must be willing to make?
    • What adjustments do you feel a husband must be willing to make?
    • What type of adjustments are you not willing to make?
    • Have you talked about the adjustments both of you will have to make when you are married?

    Have you shared with each other what you would like for your roles to be regarding household tasks? 

    If not then you get talking, else you may need to or seek assistance from a marriage educator or relationship counselor.

    One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.


    Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

    For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

     

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

    Are you sharing decision making in your relationship? If this is an issue for you, you may need to explore each other’s family of origin

    Exploring relationship roles and your expectations about how decision making and responsibilities will be shared is vital towards understanding each other’s preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in your relationship.

    Often our traditional or equalitarian behaviours are bought into out relationship from our family of origin. If you expect to have an equal relationship, where you and your partner share leadership and decision making or you feel that you would be happier if there was a more even balance of power in your relationship, then you need to explore family of origin in more depth. 

    “In our marriage, I expect my partner to consult me when making important decisions.”

    Consider the following questions:

    • Who made the decisions in your home growing up?
    • How do you make important decisions today?
    • Would you be willing to allow your partner to make all the important decisions?
    • How would you feel if you were not included in making important decisions?

    Exploring family of origin

    When it comes to roles and responsibilities, both partners should be willing to adjust.

    • What adjustments do you feel a wife must be willing to make?
    • What adjustments do you feel a husband must be willing to make?
    • What type of adjustments are you not willing to make?
    • Have you talked about the adjustments both of you will have to make when you are married?

    If not then you may need to or seek assistance from a marriage educator or relationship counselor.

    One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or CoupleCheckup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couplecheckup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.

    Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich

    For more information on the use and analysis of the CoupleCheckup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship

     

    Take the Couple Checkup

    The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The CoupleCheckup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

    The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.